how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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