just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
