I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
