she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
