I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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