make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
His nipple licking is glorious
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