I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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