YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
