he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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