Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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