we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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