Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
