i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
