would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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