was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
