I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
