I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize