the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can feel your judgement through the phone
God I need to hump something, right now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
