community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
