So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
