i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
