I haven't been this sober since birth.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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