i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
