Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
