Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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