Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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