Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
