I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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