Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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