you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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