Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
