woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
