dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
