What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
