New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
