If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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