You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't make out with my wife yet
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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