yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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