dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
