somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize