Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
