Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
