Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
