people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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