Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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