morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize