What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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