they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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