how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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