I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize