Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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