It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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