Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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