dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
