problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
