Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
