Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have aggressive nipples.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
