if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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