That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
