So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
