my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
