i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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