I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
wow bdsm is so cute
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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