i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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