come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
