I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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