it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
